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A single man stood in shock in a forested area. Now, there were many reasons for this man to be shocked: he had killed multiple enemies with just a sword, they were all wimps in spite of the hype, and he has yet to break a sweat. The detail that shocked him was an arrow that had embedded itself close to his heart. The leather armor underneath his shirt had saved him from immediate death, but the pain was excruciating.
The man swung his sword again, missing the new guy who was charging him. He then blocked an attempt to smash his face with a shield, and moments later impaled his enemy in the gut with his sword.
Another came and he dodged a blow that could have removed his head. Using his sword, he deflected his enemy's sword so it sliced air rather than neck, then bashed him in the face with the hilt, removing several teeth and rendering him unconscious.
Turning back to the on-coming horde, he received an arrow to the stomach. He went down to his knees, with his back to the enemy. He looked like he was the verge of surrender. But then he saw and remembered who he was protecting from these barbarians. With renewed vigor he sliced while turning, cutting in two what had already been a corpse. He might have apologized to the deceased for this accidental overkill, but there was no time for such niceties. He blocked yet another sword, then cut the legs out from under the latest attacker. He then stabbed this new dead guy, for good measure -- no need to take chances..
A masculine voice noted, "That's it? I could do that much with one hand against wimps like those!!"
The embattled fighter didn't seem to hear those words. He just sliced down another foe, and another, and caught a third arrow in his chest. Perhaps he didn't care to respond to criticism while in the midst of a life-or-death struggle.
Then a feminine voice sounded, "Well what did you expect from the 'Fellowship of the Ring', master swordsmen?"
He didn't respond to that either... Of course not, he was in the movie and they were just watching it, in the comfort of their living room, between slurping sodas and munching popcorn. Obviously, they must know more about fighting than he did. They had certainly seen far more battles than he had or ever will.
"Come on. Hit with three arrows and still not only alive, but awake and in pain. He should have passed out, damn it!!" The man, if he could be called that, looked somewhere between fifteen and seventeen years old. Wearing a tight black tee-shirt that showed off the muscles which he probably worked hard to build, and blue jeans, he was sitting on the floor crosslegged.
"Well Zack, maybe it's just how weapons were back then, it isn't that cheezy at... Okay, did that guy just block a thrown knife with a sword?" The girl, wearing a red shirt and blue jeans, was about the same age as the boy. She had a girl-next-door air to her. She seemed mildly annoyed. If it weren't for his comments, she would have loved this flick. But thanks to him she was having second thoughts about it.
"My point exactly Kyone. I'd say in real life, anyone from today would be able to kick the ass of anyone from back in the old sword days. The past was full of idiots, and the present is full of-"
"-it," she helped him to his feet and escorted him to the door.
"Whatever, Zack. I guess I'd beter get that school uniform to finalize my transfer here." Zack quirked an eyebrow at that.
"Don't Japanese schools give girls short skir..." Before Zack could finish his statement, the door slammed into his elbow.
"AHHHH!!!" Zack yelled, then the image of the warrior enduring three deadly arrows silently flashed before his eyes and he pressed a hand over his mouth to stifle his involuntary pain noises.
A fifteen-year-old, black-haired girl in a Japanese school-girl uniform was running. In hot pursuit appeard a silver-haired seventeen-year-old boy in red feudal Japanese clothes.
There were several things wrong with this picture. First, the girl had left the school, but she was still wearing a uniform months later. Second, the girl was a few hundred years away from home. The real kicker was that the boy had cat-like ears on his head. (But you shouldn't say that to his face if you wanted to keep your face.)
The girl looked over her shoulder, not in fear but in annoyance, and said, "I need to go home, Inuyasha. I haven't been there for two months. My Mom knows what's up, but my school has probably kicked me out, and for all I know the police are looking for me."
The afforementioned 'boy', Inuyasha, would not relent. "Damn it, Kagome, we have shards to hunt here. The longer we wait, the more shades Naraku will make. So get back here and detect shards, bitch."
Kagome was peeved at being called a bitch, but was used to Inuyasha's abrupt turns of speech. "Well, I need to go to school. Besides, we have no idea where to look for shards. We just fought and killed another new shade, and we're out of ramen."
Now, ramen is a kind of flavored noodle meal put in a plastic cup. To most people being told you are out of that is like being told you are out of Cheerios. To Inuyasha, hearing those words was like being told you have cancer of the penis. He slowed down on his chase. Unable to think of a good reason why she shouldn't go back to her home in the future to fetch more ramen, he shouted, "WE'RE OUT!? HOW DID WE RUN OUT? I HAVEN'T HAD ANY FOR THREE DAYS!! THREE RAMENLESS DAYS AND NOW YOU TELL ME 'WE'RE OUT'?!?"
"Yes. Now sit..."
Upon hearing those words, Inuyasha dropped face first on the ground. Some may wonder what word had that effect on him, and why it would make him passionately kiss dirt. The key word is 'sit'. Whenever Kagome says that word the teeth-and-beads necklace he wears smashes him violently to the ground, with the impact of a motorcycle crash.
"...down and think about someone other than yourself, for ONCE!!" Apparently not even noticing that she had accidentally used the word 'sit', and that he was taking a dirt nap, she jumped through a dry well nearby and was transported a few hundred years into the future...to the twenty-first century. Century of cars, guns, nukes, porno sites, and tests.
to be continued
Me: I'd say that's a better note to start on
then my first fic attempt. I'll try my best to purge the evil
from the site. For those who read the earlier one...I'M SORRY!!
LET THIS UNWORTHY ONE LIVE!!! PEACE IN OUR TIME! Ehhhh, well
anyway hope you got some chuckles out of it.