(Tim Seltzer, seltzer@seltzerbooks.com)
The plate wobbled a bit more, then fell over, coming to a rest.
Wine spread slowly across the polished marble floor, having leaked out of the broken crystal goblets.
Kuko was still breathing hard, after physically separating Naruto and Hinata. Her efforts had not been entirely altruistic, but she was looking out for the two young ninjas, after a fashion.
Though, that might be difficult to make anyone believe, since both youths sported a number of shallow scratches.
Hinata closed her eyes and opened her mouth, looking like she was ready for another kiss, if not something significantly more intimate. Naruto pulled the last of the pillows away from the white eyed girl, flinging it across the room, causing the kitsune to duck. He smiled, hearing the noise that Hinata made when he began to fondle her.
“That is enough of that!” Kuko said. “First of all, he’s mine. He just doesn’t want to admit it.” She stamped her foot, then clenched her teeth. “Second, you know that the two of you will be very embarrassed when the effect of the water wears off.” She growled low in her throat. “And you know where things could lead. What happens if you get her with child?”
The jealous and lust-filled fox woman’s last point had an instant effect. Hinata sat up straight, and slid a bit away from Naruto. Naruto brought his hands away from Hinata’s breasts, and put them behind his head, whistling and looking away.
The fox woman cursed her own bad luck, never guessing that things would have gone the way they did after Naruto told Hinata his secret. But, she shouldn’t have been completely surprised, given the combined effect of the Wish-fulfilling Gem and the water from Lesser Manasa and White Lotus Lakes.
She cursed mightily under her breath. After she and Naruto had taken their drinks, she should have asked the Yaksha to counter its effects on anyone else.
But, how could she have ever have guessed that the girl would do what she had done?
At first, Hinata had moved away from Naruto, upset, wondering if he was actually the Nine Tails in human form. That had Kuko trying to comfort him, tenderly at first, and then with unbridled passion. But, the diminutive girl remembered how difficult her own childhood had been, and was able to put into perspective the pain that her friend had gone through.
The closer she had found herself getting emotionally, the closer she had allowed Naruto to get physically. For Naruto, the more he found himself touching Hinata’s heart, the more he wanted to touch everything else.
“If he gets me pregnant, then we would both have something in our bellies, right?” Hinata giggled, feeling free enough to make that kind of silly joke. That almost amazed her more than everything else had. Her, making a joke. Moving back next to Naruto, she spoke more seriously, placing her hand on his abdomen. “Does it hurt, having the demon in there?” She stroked him ever so lightly.
“No,” the young ninja said, still amazed at how Hinata’s emotions had evolved. If she had heard about Kyuubi in Konoha, the evolution from shock to concern to acceptance might have taken weeks or months, if it took place at all. But, it was a testimony to just how big a part of her world she had made him, all without Naruto knowing.
Just as their lust would not have exploded without the slightest seed of desire, her acceptance wouldn’t have been so swift if she hadn’t watched everything Naruto did, coming to know just what kind of person he is.
“I wonder if I can hear him.” Hinata put her ear against Naruto, her hair tickling him. “Guess not.”
“I think you have your head too far down, little sister!” Kuko kicked one of the intact goblets she had knocked over, watching the glass spin as it crossed the room. Things had somehow gone from a tense, emotionally charged stand-off to a more subtle confrontation when it appeared that Naruto had become captivated by Hinata.
Both Naruto and Hinata looked baffled by the kitsune’s comment, until they looked at each other, then glanced down at the young ninja’s lap. Both had blushed bright red after that, despite the change in their behavior caused by the fountain.
“I…… I would never…… I would never have thought about that……if you hadn’t mentioned it….” Hinata looked over at the fuming Kuko. If she hadn’t heard some Hyuuga girls talking about risqué topics, she still wouldn’t realize just what she had been inferring.
“Now I probably won’t be able to stopthinking about it,” Naruto groused. “Uhhh….”
Kuko looked for something else to kick. Then, eyes turning sly, she ran her hands through Naruto’s hair and began massaging his scalp.
“You shouldn’t say those kind of things to little sister,” she leaned over and bit Naruto’s ear. “Like you told me before, she’s a nice girl.” She walked around the arm of the couch, and stood staring down at him.
“But, you also can’t afford to be distracted when we visit the Oracle later. I can take care of that.” She got down on her knees. “And you won’t have to worry about this getting me with pups.” Of course, once he found himself enjoying her touch again in this manner….
“KUKO!”
Everyone was shocked for a few moments. That had been Hinata shouting, not Naruto.
“I think it may be best if I moved away from you, Hinata.” Naruto gave her a look that had her grabbing for the pillows again. “We’re going to have to do our best to fight this, until the water wears off.” He thought about asking for just one more kiss, but knew that a kiss might be all it took to let the djinn out of the bottle, so to speak.
“Y-Y-Yes…… Naruto-kun….” Hinata sighed. Her emotions and desires were so tangled, she didn’t know if she could ever get rid of all the knots. Biting her lip, she wondered how each of them would feel days or weeks from now?
Would Naruto try and stay as far away from her as possible, or might he see something in her that he had never noticed before. Would she find herself changing the way she had felt for so long, because she learned a truth that had been kept secret from all of the younger shinobi?
“That’s responsible thinking,” the kitsune said. “Just the kind of thing I would expect from a man who wants to be Hokage some day.” Kuko was still down on her knees, a rather wicked look in her eyes. She may well be behind in the game, after once having what appeared to be an insurmountable lead, but she was not about to give up.
“Little sister must be exhausted after her healing session. She should go lay down on a couch and take a nap until they come for us.”
“I think maybe you should go sit on one of the far seats yourself,” Naruto said, sounding somewhat bitter. While he didn’t have any compulsion to forgive the fox woman for what she had done earlier, he still had lustful feelings for her. “Preferably one in a corner. I can’t trust you. Unless you want to make another promise.”
“Hmmmmm,” Kuko said, batting her eyes, if only to annoy Naruto. “I promise to bring you to the heights of ecstasy, and keep you there until you can’t take any more.” She looked over at Hinata and winked. “That’s the kind of talk you need to learn, if you want to get in his pants when you get back to your village.”
“KUKO!”
That time it was Naruto. He looked to see how Hinata had reacted.
It was bad enough that she was saying things like that to Hinata. But, there was more to it. The last thing he wanted to think about was what might happen when they got back to Konoha. It would be bad enough making a report to Tsunade. But if he or Hinata let anything slip, he could imagine opening his door some day and finding the whole Hyuuga clan waiting to skin him alive.
That was considering everything that had happened so far. If Kuko hadn’t been zealously trying to keep him to herself, there was a very good chance that he and Hinata would have ended up with their own session of grunting and moaning.
Hyuuga Hiashi would not care about fountains, mystical waters, or magical gemstones. He would care about seeing a certain boy’s head on a pike, or listening to that same ninja singing soprano in the Konoha boys choir.
“You have been a bad enough influence on Hinata as it is,” he said. “I can’t imagine how either of us will feel when we report back to the Fifth Hokage.”
That had Hinata bringing her hand to her mouth. Kuko, by contrast, smiled and said “Nonsense. I’m merely looking out for little sister’s better interests.” She chuckled, patting Hinata on the head facetiously. “Besides, I need her to be able to keep the other village girls away from you until the next cycle comes around. I won’t make the same mistakes next time.”
“WH-WH-WHAT!”
That was Naruto and Hinata both. The look on their faces had the fox woman laughing. She put one hand on Hinata’s shoulder.
“I really wish you’d take up the offer Tenko made you, little sister. You would make a wonderful member of the family. Shakko, Nogitsune, and the overactive ones like Genko and Kiko could all help me train him to be just the kind of man you want. I’m certain the others would allow you to have him to yourself, after he gives the group of us a child or two….”
Naruto looked over at Hinata again. He was relieved to see that she didn’t show any outward signs of interest.
“Speaking of that….” The kitsune suddenly sounded somewhat depressed. “I haven't given up yet, mind you…… but if I don’t get with child…… will you promise to tell the family where I am, so they don’t worry?”
Naruto just looked away. He was in no mood to consider doing Kuko any favors. And, the last thing he needed to do was deal with a whole bunch of tricky fox women, even if they were no longer in heat.
“It will keep them all from coming to Konoha to ask you,” the kitsune added. That had Naruto swallowing hard; but, he simply shook his head, causing Kuko to sigh sadly.
“We will do it,” Hinata said. “If Naruto won’t help me, then I will do it on my own. You saved my life.”
“Thank you,” the kitsune said somewhat solemnly, walking over to kiss Hinata on the forehead. Some things were more important than a rivalry. But, gratitude counted for only so much, and lasted only so long. She wanted to bang her head against the wall. A sudden inspiration hit her. The answer was there, staring her in the face, but she had missed it.
She had been acting too much like a human woman with Hinata. It may well have gone better for her if she had simply gone fox for a while, and used her kitsune instincts.
Well, better late than never.
Kuko had promised not to use her bewitching or possession techniques against Naruto. She had not made the same pledge to Hinata. All she needed to do was get Hinata under her power. With Hinata sleeping quietly in some corner, there would be nothing that would keep Naruto from giving in.
The kitsune took her fox form. She began rubbing her tails together.
The door swung open again. Kuko was almost ready to take on the temple’s full contingency of Yaksha single-handedly. What could they possible want now!
But, it was not only Yaksha this time. After one cowled creature opened the door, a number of preta shambled in, followed by a group of kumbhandas. Behind them came creatures that neither Naruto nor Hinata had seen before.
Kuko could guess what they were, since she knew the various types of creatures that populated kami temples. The tall and broad monsters, with their hideous horned heads and animal skin clothes, were ogres of different types.
The ones with the green pustular skin and crusted oozing eyes were mamo, known to be carriers of disease. The ones that seemed to be made of red stone, and carried huge rock clubs, were tsen, more earth spirits than ogre. But, it was the black ones, with the necklaces of human skulls, that had the kitsune’s hackles raised. They were sinpo, and they favored the flesh of humans and similar species.
Choosing to remain in fox form, given the avid stares that the simpo turned on Hinata and Naruto, Kuko spoke sharply, trying hard to reign her temper in.
“What’s going on here? We had a bargain. As an acolyte of a kami temple, I expected to be treated better than this.”
“Your oath has been forgiven. You owe us no debt. You and the humans are no longer welcome in this temple.” The Yaksha nodded to a number of others of its own kind who walked into the room.
“HUH?”
Naruto stood up, still naked. In his current state, that fact didn’t even register on him. It was his anger rising now, not his anatomy.
“We came here to find out important information, not to roll around on the couches.” The look he gave the kitsune had her instinctively running to hide behind Hinata. The girl, in turn, was hiding behind the tall curved headboard of a large couch. “We took our baths. We had our visions. We made our offerings. We were told that the hospitality of the temple was at our disposal.” He put one foot up on the furniture, looking very belligerent. “Why are we getting the shaft?”
“You will find that we are being uncommonly gracious, considering the situation. You may thank the young female who gained temple privileges. It would be simpler to kill you.” The one Yaksha exposed his face. “We may still choose to do so.”
“Naruto-kun…… please….” Hinata didn’t want Naruto’s attitude to land them all in the moat outside the temple, or in the bellies of the drooling preta and sinpo.
Resuming her human form, Kuko walked forward and bowed. “Forgive him his temper and irreverence, holy one. He is young…… human…… and influenced by the gem you loaned me….” She kneeled on the floor, then spoke anew. “Please, can you tell us what has changed. If we have offended you in some manner, perhaps we can make amends.”
“You will come with us now,” the Yaksha said, signaling mutely to the various beasts in his entourage. “I will grant you understanding as you walk.”
As Naruto marched behind one of the Yakshas, Hinata ran up to him and thrust clothing into his arms. He would have forgotten about that. But, it seemed unimportant at the moment.
One of the Yaksha chanted a number of words, removed the gem from the fountain, then walked over and touched Kuko, Naruto, and Hinata with his feathered staff. Those actions counteracted the effects of the artifacts.
Hinata squeaked, and ducked behind Naruto, feeling that the assembled hoard of creatures were all staring at her nakedness. Her hand touching him, she suddenly became more aware of his nudity. Backing away, she bumped into the huge scrotum of a of kumbhanda, which caused her to quickly try to put her clothing on as they all marched down the hallway, back the way they came.
Naruto wasn’t doing a whole lot better. But, rather than being embarrassed, he took his usual tact, using his feisty nature to cover up his uneasiness. “What are you staring at, ugly?” He scowled at a sinpo that had taken to walking very close to him.
Kuko grabbed Naruto by the ear and pulled him away from the ogre. Unlike the two shinobi who were allowed no time to get dressed before being unceremoniously rousted from the room, Kuko appeared fully clothed.
“Five male kitsune have gained entrance to the temple,” the eldest Yaksha mentioned. “They are all mikkyo. Their stated purpose is an alarming one.”
“Shit! They want to party with Kuko, then they want to see her and us dead. What’s so damn alarming about that? You guys have enough guards here to take them out. One of you Yaksha dudes could probably do it himself!” Naruto was upset at seemingly having the goal of his mission erased.
“Naruto! Quiet!” The kitsune dug her fingernails into the noisy ninja.
“You are correct,” the Yaksha answered, no sound of anger or rancor in his voice. “If we had time now, I would put you through the riddles.” That had Naruto blinking rapidly. “They do not merely wish to kill you. That would not concern us. No. They have expressed the desire to release the Kyuubi. If that happened while there was no Guardian here, the temple could be destroyed.”
That shocked the three travelers.
“But revered one, that might only be a ruse, a clever attempt to get you to throw us from the temple, putting us at their mercy.” Kuko couldn’t see why the mikkyo would do something so drastic. “And the boy is correct, you have the means here to easily remove the danger by killing the ones making the threat.”
Hinata had finally managed to get clothed, after hopping down the hallway, crowded by tsen, kumbhanda, and pretas. She began to realize just what kind of life Naruto might be destined to live, carrying a great demon within him.
“Seems like that would be the smart thing to do,” Naruto muttered way too loudly. Kuko kicked him hard in the shin.
“Their intent my be duplicitous, and it most certainly may be evil, but they have followed the Ways. No doubt, somehow, they have come across one of the Scrolls in their studies.” The Yaksha motioned his arm, sending a number of creatures into the next room, to make certain that no kitsune lay in wait there. “They have gained an immunity.”
Kuko nodded her head, looking truly worried.
Recognizing the Yaksha as the one she had been riddled by, Hinata walked over to his side and spoke. “Sir, what is an immunity?”
“Child,” the Yaksha rumbled, nodding to the white-eyed girl. “The kitsune must have made some kind of pact with the Naga of this temple. They in turn beseeched their master, Virupaksha, who granted the immunity. While the temple is not dedicated to the Lord of the Western Direction, his will extends here, as does that of any of the Devas.”
“Ummm, Sir…… why would the N-N-Nagas…… why would they want Kyuubi released? Don’t they live at the temple, too?“ Hinata felt brave enough to ask another question, after her previous experience with the demigod.
The cowled being made a disgusted snorting sound. “Who can understand the mind of a Naga?” The other Yakshas all waved their arms when hearing that. “It is likely that the mikkyo did not explain that part, especially if it is merely a trick.”
“Add the Nagas to my list of things that need their asses kicked,” Naruto said, pushing away a preta that had started to sniff at him. He was startled to see the cowled heads all nod. Rubbing his neck, he asked his own question. “If we can kill the mikkyo, can we come back in?”
“You would need to follow the same rituals again, should you live. Entrance may or may not be granted.” The Yaksha’s words had the travelers hopeful at first, even though five mikkyo would be a daunting foe. “But, there is little chance that you would survive. Nagas have hidden communities in every world. In yours, they are susceptible to suffering created by mankind's carelessness, and its basic ignorance of proper conduct in nature. As such, they retaliate towards humans when they behave in such ignorant manners.”
“And?” Naruto grimaced when Kuko kicked him even harder this time.
“Even if you are not a defiler of nature, I would suspect that the kistune have made you out to be one. The snake peoples’ powers are formidable. They would do everything they could to aid the mikkyo.” The Yaksha repeated his earlier actions, having the next room scouted.
When Hinata had moved up to walk closely by his side, Naruto pointed his thumb at himself. “Don’t be worried, Hinata. You’re with Uzumaki Naruto. We’ll be alright. Promise of a Lifetime!”
“Naruto-kun.” Hinata managed a smile. That had Kuko frowning.
When they reached the doors into the Great Room, the elder Yaksha turned to face the visitors, a very ominous look on his face.
“You have been through this room before. No doubt, the fox woman has told you how to behave. It is even more imperative now, that you draw no attention to yourselves, or despoil the smallest of things.” He waved his staff to quiet the simpo, one of whom had left a long trail of saliva draped over Hinata’s shoulder. “The Deva King may not here at the temple, but I would not be surprised if part of his consciousness is focused in this direction, given the recent events.”
A number of the Yakshas spoke nervously among themselves in a low guttural language, until the elder smacked the butt of his staff against the floor.
“If he were to return while you are in that room, you would almost certainly be put to death, should you be there against his will. Those of us in your presence might suffer severe sanction as well. Silence!” He struck the staff against the ground again, when the of kumbhandas began making a frightful neighing racket. “If he were to return while you were elsewhere in the temple, he might still command your death, were you to act in an inappropriate fashion in this room.”
Kuko was staring at Naruto, a pleading look on her face.
“What?” Naruto asked, trying to look innocent. “You too?” He said, when Hinata tugged lightly on his arm. Seeing her blush and look away, he looked down at himself, realizing that he had never gotten dressed. As he tried to put on some clothes, he was abruptly pushed into the room by the ogres who began their scouting duties.
He was still pulling on his pants when he looked up, seeing the apsaras watching him.
“Uh oh.” Naruto hurried even faster, seeing the apsaras and gandharvas begin to lower their fans again. Just as he finished dressing, Kuko grabbed one of his arms, and Hinata the other. They began pulling him quickly towards the opposite stone doors.
“HALT!” One of the Yakshas said. He motioned to his fellow Yakshas and the lesser beasts to stand between Naruto, Hinata, Kuko, and the milling temple maidens. Cradling his staff in one arm, he faced the huge doors expectantly. For good reason. They opened.
A loud sibilant sound preceded the arrival of numerous tall and sinuous creatures, semi-divine beings with the face and upper body of a human, merging with the body of a great snake. A scaled crest, somewhat like that of a cockatoo, unfolded menacingly on their heads, as their irate faces scanned the room before them.
“Where are the defilers-s-s-s-s-s of Nature?” One spoke, its tail twitching. “Where are the humans-s-s-s-s.”
“Hey! We’re not defilers of anything!” Naruto said unprompted. “We’ve been lied about!”
“DON’T MEET THEIR EYES!” Kuko pulled Naruto to her. “If they wish it, they can use their gaze to kill.” She shivered, having an aversion to snakes herself. “Their bite is poisonous. Their coils can squeeze the life out of you before you know it. Some can spit venom as well.”
“Liars-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. Mos-s-s-st humans-s-s-s are liars-s-s-s-s-s-s,” The lead creature rose up high on its snake-like body. It motioned for someone to enter the room. It was the five male kitsune.
“You Naga have no authority to stand in my way,” the eldest Yaksha called out. “And, you are far from the great pools in the depths of our temple. Perhaps you ought to leave this matter in the hands of us, the ones assigned the care of the upper levels.”
“S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. We are not s-s-s-s-s-standing in your way. It is-s-s-s the humans-s-s-s that we we s-s-s-seek. We will take the female kits-s-s-s-s-sune as-s-s-s well. She has-s-s-s led the defilers-s-s-s-s into our mids-s-s-st.”
“I suggest you wait until after the truth is discovered. Should you act rashly, there will be no place in your lair deep enough to hide in. It may be that you have been terribly misled, by those that you have admitted to the temple.” The Yaksha met the stare of his counterpart, unaffected by its baleful eyes.
“That’s right!” Naruto stepped out, breaking free of Kuko’s grip. Eyes closed and hands on his hips, he stated his case. “Those mikkyo bastards told everyone here that they came to release the Kyuubi from me, so that I would be kicked out on my ass. Did they happen to mention that to you?”
“Naruto-kun….” Hinata wisely tried to shush her companion.
“Nons-s-s-s-sens-s-s-s-se,” the tallest Naga hissed. “Human tricks-s-s-s-s.”
“Kill them. Before their words can catch you off guard.” One of the mikkyo pointed to Kuko and the Leaf shinobi. He and the other rogues had discovered the bodies of their friends, after being unsuccessful in their attack on the kitsune family. “They have killed many of my kind, as we fought to prevent to destruction of the lakes and forests in our world. They came here for powerful magics that they can use in their wanton crimes against nature.”
“S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s!” The Naga showed the capricious character of his kind, sinking its fangs into the neck of the kitsune, injecting an instantly fatal amount of venom. “Ins-s-s-solence! None sh-sh-sh-should s-s-s-seek to tell us-s-s-s what we sh-sh-sh-sh-should do.” It motioned to the other shaken mikkyo, then pointed towards Naruto. “You kill them.”
“You must not fight in here!” The Yaksha told Naruto. “It will earn you your death, just as they have earned theirs. Immunity does not cover impious acts such as this.”
“Then your buddies will help stop them?” Naruto asked, pulling Hinata and Kuko behind a wall of ogres.
“Regrettably not,” the Yaksha replied. “The immunity will be revoked only after they are judged by the one who gifted it, or his equal.” The put his cowl back up. “I suggest you avoid them. Without disturbing the room.”
“Shit!” Naruto tried to think, watching as the four remaining mikkyo fanned out to attack from all angles. No doubt they meant to kill him and the others, then rush out of the temple before their safe conduct could be nullified. “Dead if we do…… dead if we don’t….”
Concentrating, he created an enormous number of shadow clones, to the point that there was very little standing space left in the huge room.
“Alright guys. No fighting. No breaking stuff. No eating. No pinching the cute girls on the butt.” Naruto ran over to Hinata and Kuko, telling them to disguise themselves as Yaksha and try to find a way out of the door they had come in through.
The Nagas still had the other door blocked.
The rogue kitsune went to work, destroying clone after clone. In the process, they created layers upon layers of illusion, impeding Naruto’s retreat, as he had to rely on Kuko’s guidance. The Naga were not fooled by Naruto’s tricks, and were trying to direct the mikkyo. Also, as creatures of immense intelligence and magical power, they began weaving their own nets of illusion.
The Yaksha, unable to attack either the kitsune or the Naga, put their own will towards dispelling the snake magic.
“Can you defend yourselves,” Naruto shouted to one, while dodging one mikkyo attack, watching as dozens of clones disappeared in puffs of smoke after grabbing hold of the kitsune’s legs.
“That is allowed,” the elder Yaksha answered affirmatively.
“Well, you guys can change shape, right?” When the Yaksha nodded, Naruto suggested that the demigods take on the appearance of Hinata, Kuko, and himself. If a mikkyo chose to strike one of the demigods, there would soon be one less rogue male to worry about.
The Yaksha chuckled, appreciating a good trick. He and his fellows bent themselves to their task.
Despite the best efforts of the shadow clones, tables were knocked over; urns and valuable vases were smashed; and pillows were reduced to clouds of feathers. The kitsune were using every violent attack at their disposal, and were creating terrible havoc.
The preta, kumbhandas, and ogres could only be kept on a leash for so long. Knowing better than to strike at the mikkyo or Naga, the stupid creatures were so agitated that they began attacking the shadow clones, destroying furniture and precious treasures in the process.
Adding to the utter confusion and disarray, the temple maidens were running this way and that, screaming. When the group of them began to escape the room, Naruto had the others disguise themselves as girls.
Without warning, all lights within the room went out. When the Yaksha and Nagas attempted to produce magical illumination, their talents were blocked. The huge doors on either side of the room slammed shut, seemingly on their own.
“CEASE YOUR UNENLIGHTENED NONSENSE.”
The voice that rang out had every individual and creature in the room covering their ears from pain.
Torches and lamps slowly began to glow, first faintly, then gradually reaching their full level of light.
When the last of the shadow clones had disappeared, and tne room was wll lit again, the Yaksha, nagas, kitsune, humans, and other creatures were all left staring at the great throne. It was no longer empty.
The remaining apsaras and gandharvas all ran to sit on pillows at the feet of a gigantic man-like figure, blue in color, regal in stature, with a full face with black eyebrows, moustache and beard. Large bulbous eyes gazed to the side as often as they looked forward. The being’s right hand held a long sword, with the left cradling the blade his chest. Adorned with an ornate headdress of gold and jewels, earrings and ribbons, the immense figure was richly garbed in the brocade raiment of a king, opulent with silks and elaborate design in a variety of colors. A helmet sat upon his head, adorned with the skin of elephant's head. Armor sat over his fancy clothes, and the scarves at his neck looked as if they were blowing in a stiff wind.
It was Virudhaka, Celestial Guardian, one of the four generals of Sakra Devendra, a god who had been pulled away from his battle against the Asuras that are ever trying to disrupt the peace and contentment of heaven.
Wind, Harmony, Rain and Prosperity are the four divine attributes which characterize the Heavenly Kings. "Wind" refers to the blade of the precious sword which is used to protect all sentient beings; "Harmony" refers to the guitar, which is played to benefit and entertain the world; "Rain" refers to the precious umbrella, which can be employed to subjugate demons; "Prosperity" refers to the dragon, which utilises its heavenly sight to observe and safeguard the human realm.
At that moment, in great Virudhaka’s great displeasure, the sword did not look as if it was meant to protect anything, as it slammed down on one of the few intact tables, reducing it to splinters. A preta that was struck by the same blow faded from existence.
Normally known for his solemn and august nature, as well as his imposing and majestic demeanor, the Deva King grumbled loudly as he surveyed the room.
“I WILL ENTERTAIN ENTREATIES, WHY ALL THAT STAND HERE NOW SHOULD NOT END THEIR LIFE IN THIS ENCARNATION. ”
One of the younger Yaksha was clearly shaken. Speaking to no one, he said “That is only a formality. We are doomed. We are all as if dead.
Everyone in the room feel to their knees in supplication. The Nagas too assumed postures indicating submission and a desire for forgiveness.
The only one who did not follow suit was Naruto.
In his mind, if they were already dead, he was going to have his say before that sword did him in. He walked over to stand in front of the great throne, bumping a mikkyo out of his way.
“Nice sword!” Naruto called out loudly. “A hell of a lot nicer than the stuff they let us use.” He took out a kunai and held it out.
Kuko and Hinata tried to silence Naruto, without drawing any attention to themselves.
The Yakshas groaned. The Nagas began to twitch their tails faster and faster.
One of the apsaras blew Naruto a kiss, while a couple of gandharvas winked.
“WHAT KIND OF INSOLENCE IS THIS. WHY SHOULD I NOT SPARE YOUR LIFE, ONLY TO SENTENCE YOU TO A PLACE OF TORTURE AND TORMENT FOR ALL ETERNITY?“
“That’s a really good question, your Majesty. I hope we can find the answer between us.” Naruto made an effort to bow. “But while I don’t mean to be rude, if I’m going to be killed anyway, I figure I might as well speak up and tell you what happened.”
The Heavenly king brought his sword around, leaving it level with Naruto’s nose, and only three inches away from his head.
Naruto swallowed hard, and began to sweat.
“WOULD YOU LIKE THE HONOR OF TOUCHING MY SWORD?”
“Naruto…… no….” Kuko couldn’t say any more, when a Yaksha touched her on the shoulder with his staff, causing her to go numb.
The young ninja scratched his head.
“No, Sir. I would like to stay in one piece, if I may.” He pointed at the pile of wood fragments, food, and broken dishes on the floor. “I might not be the sharpest kunai in the pouch, but I do try to get a little wiser every day. I won’t be able to do that if I end up looking like that freaking table.”
His response caused an angry muttering amongst the Yaksha and Naga. They were surprised that the young man was still alive. No, they were shocked that any of them remained amongst the living.
Virudhaka sat back in his chair and chuckled. His sudden change in demeanor had everyone shocked.
“AS A HEAVENLY KING, IT IS MY TASK TO PLANT THE SEEDS OF POSITIVE KHARMA, PRACTICING THE TRUE DHARMA, USING THE PROPER DOCTRINES TO INSTRUCT THE FAITHFUL, AS WELL AS SUPPRESSING DEMONS AND ELIMINATING EVIL INFLUENCES. I ALSO ENCOURAGE CONSTANT IMPROVEMENT OF WISDOM, MORALITY, AND SKILLS. THE SWORD I HOLD REPRESENTS WISDOM.”
No one spoke.
The Deva King looked at everyone before him, before turning his protruding eyes on Naruto again. It looked as if he expected some kind of answer.
“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t have been too wise to touch the sword, huh.”
The great being placed his chin on his fist, his eyes narrowing.
Naruto swallowed hard. If he was going to state his case, it was now or never. From the beginning, he detailed his time at the temple, and gave background to his quest, making certain to mention the role that the previous mikkyo had played before his encounter with the Umbrella Pine.
“So, as you can see, I used every opportunity I had to increase my skills, so as to protect my friends. I tied to increase my wisdom as I went along, because that is a good way to serve my village better. And, my morality was sure put to the test. It was real hard resisting a bunch of sexy women who…. uhhh…. excuse me.” Naruto knew that he had no business trying to talk buddy to buddy with a wrathful deity. “And, it’s also my task to suppress evil and suppress demons. That’s why I’m here.”
The room felt as if it would shake to pieces. An earthquake would have been minor by comparison.
A number of the temple maidens fainted. A couple of ogres left steaming piles of fecal mater on the floor.
“I DO NOT SUFFER BRAGGARTS. I SHALL RELEASE A DEMON I HAVE IMPRISONED. IF YOU CANNOT DEFEAT IT, I SHALL DESTROY YOU, SHOULD YOU SURVIVE ITS EFFORTS TO CONSUME YOU.”
“Wait, Boss!” Naruto cringed when he used the means of address that he used with Gama Bunta. Big is big. “I’m already holding in one demon!”
Very quickly, Naruto went on to describe Kyuubi, tell about Akatsuki, and explain how his journey had come about. He also made it a point to mention the trick that the current group of mikkyo had tried.
The kitsune tried to speak up in their own defense, but were quickly silenced by a look from Virudhaka.
“I HAD BEEN TOLD OF THE DEMON AND THE THREAT. I AM AMUSED TO SEE THAT SUCH A GREAT CREATURE IS SEALED BEHIND THE NAVEL OF A HUMAN CHILD. THAT IS A MUCH GREATER INDIGNITY THAN DEATH.”
Naruto cursed under his breath, mumbling ‘I don’t find it so fucking amusing,’ before putting on a smile and looking back up at the Heavenly King.
Virudhaka set his musicians to playing and his dancers to dancing. It by no means meant that he was mollified, or that the room was a cheerful place to be.
At his command, the Yakshas and Nagas all approached him and prostrated themselves.
“IF YOU CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE, I SHALL NOT SEND THE LOT OF YOU TO BE COMMON LABORERS FOR THE NEXT TEN CENTURIES. I WISH TO KNOW WHY THIS ROOM LOOKS AS IT DOES. YOU WILL TELL ME YOUR PART IN THIS. WHY ARE THESE VISITORS IN MY TEMPLE?”
“Busted,” Naruto said to the Naga that had been so vocal. The boy and the snake creature both jumped when the massive sword struck the ground between them.
Shuffling along, almost looking worried themselves, the pretas, ogres, and kumbhandas herded Naruto, Hinata, and Kuko into one back corner of the room, and the male kitsune into another.
The three adventurers spoke quietly among themselves while Virudhaka listened to the two groups of semi-divine creatures.
“Heh! You haven’t tried to put your hand down my pants the whole time that we’ve been in this room,” Naruto said impishly to Kuko. “Damn! If I had known that would happen, I would have whistled for Big Guy when we first got here.”
Neither Hinata nor the kitsune smiled. Kuko looked resigned to her fate. Hinata touched Naruto’s hand with hers, then put it back in her lap, head bowed.
“Shit! We’re not dead yet. If we’re going down, let’s go down with our heads up. That’s my Ninja Way!” he grinned.
Hinata nodded, and held her chin up. When Naruto pursed his lips, then reached over to squeeze her hand, she blushed and managed a small smile. Kuko nodded too, then took Naruto’s hand and put it on her breast. Naruto pulled back like he was touching hot coals. That had the fox woman smiling.
Looking chastened, the Yaksha all returned, then motioned for Naruto and his two comrades to accompany them to the foot of the great throne. The Naga did the same with the rogue kitsune.
The great Guardian waved the snake people over towards Naruto. The eldest of the Nagas approached Naruto and bowed.
“I am fors-s-s-s-s-sed to apologis-s-s-s-se. We were terribly mis-s-s-s-staken. You are not defilers-s-s-s-s-s.” With great dignity, the creature lowered his head crest. “S-s-s-s-sorry.” It slithered back amongst his own kind, the whole group of them looking as pale as the Yaksha.
“Great!” Naruto said. “Since that’s all cleared up, I guess we should be on our way!” It was worth a try.
“Remain still…… silent…… and solicitous….” The eldest Yaksha gave Naruto a piercing glance. He turned to face all of the temple visitors, before speaking in an oratory tone:
"There is not any event that under all circumstances is an obstacle. During your life, sometimes a test situation may arise. If you lack understanding and insight, this test could become an obstacle. However if you have enough insight and understanding, the test could heighten your realization to a great extent.”
Naruto opened his mouth, but Hinata noticed and grabbed his hand. He looked at her and kept silent. Not to be left out, Kuko reached out and grabbed his other hand. Looking over at Virudhaka, Naruto was too distracted to pull that hand away.
“We will not delve into the guilt or innocence of those who transgressed voluntarily or involuntarily. In his great wisdom and benevolence, the Great Lord has instructed me to ask each a riddle. A correct answer brings life. An incorrect answer does not. First, you will all repeat after me the ‘Prayer For The Time of Death’.”
“Morbid shit,” Naruto grumbled to himself.
“Shhhhhh!” Kuko said.
The eldest Yaksha raised his staff. The others soon followed suit. The light in the room dimmed considerably, and the temple maidens began a slow wordless song. When the Yakshas took turns chanting verses, the humans and kistunes echoed his words:
“At the moment the messenger of death arrives
Please come instantaneously from your pristine realm.
Advise me to give up grasping at mundane existence
And invite me to come to your pristine realm.
“When earth sinks into water
And the mirage-like appearance is perceived,
And my mouth becomes dry and foul-tasting,
Please come and tell me not to be afraid and inspire me with true courage.
“When water sinks into fire
And the smoke-like appearance is perceived,
And my tongue gets thick and my speech is lost,
Please show me your shining face and give me solace and peaceful joy.
“When fire sinks into air
And the firefly-like appearance is perceived,
And my body heat and the light of my eyes rapidly fade away,
Please come and fill my mind with the sound of Dharma wisdom.
“When air sinks into consciousness
And the burning like a butter lamp appearance is perceived,
And my body becomes like the earth and my breathing altogether ceases,
Please draw me to your pristine realm with the radiant light of your
shining face.
“And then, may the radiant red hook
Emanating from your pristine heart
Enter my crown, then descend my central channel,
Hook my very subtle clear light mind, and bring it to your pristine
realm.
“Yet if I must go into the intermediate state by the force of my negative karma,
May all the Buddhas and bodhisattvas rescue me with the power of Dharma
And inspire me with the pure view that sees all beings as utterly pure,
Hears all sounds as Dharma teaching, and sees all places as a pristine realm.”
After that, the testing began. The eldest Yaksha approached Hinata first, as she had been riddled previously and had passed. Placing his hand upon her brow, he spoke. “Be not affrighted child. If you answer correctly, you will not die. If you answer incorrectly, your death with be swift and painless.”
He then asked his riddle.
“What is the most valuable of all one’s possessions? And what is the best of all kinds of happiness?”
Hinata rubbed her fingers together, thinking. Hesitantly, she spoke. “I…… I do not think……it is not a material thing.” She trembled slightly, faced with possible demise. “I do not think that love is a possession.” She looked over at Naruto, then down at her feet.
“The…… my abilities…… my skills are important too…… but I think there are better things.” She closed her eyes, trying to grasp her elusive thought by the tail. “The things that I know…… the things that I have come to understand…… I think that those are best.”
“Yes,” the Yaksha nodded. “That answer will suffice. Continue.”
The young ninja answered more quickly regarding the second part of her riddle. It was a subject she had been led to contemplate during many lonely nights. “Contentment is the best kind of happiness.”
“Very good. You may go sit by yourself and rest.” The cowled being gently turned Hinata and pushed her towards a number of intact cushions on the floor.
Next up, a mikkyo was questioned by the Yaksha, who held up his staff.
"If you call this a staff, you deny its eternal life. If you do not call this a staff, you deny its present fact. Tell me, just what do you propose to call it?"
The kitsune’s answer was not met with approval, and he faded quickly from view. A second mikkyo met a similar fate when he could not give an adequate answer when challenged with the following riddle:
“A man hanging from a tree over a cliff. He is holding on to a twig with his teeth. His hands hold no branch. His feet find no branch. Up on the cliff-edge a man shouts at him: 'Why did Bodhidharma come from cross from one land into the next? If he fails to answer he is lost. If he answers, he dies. What must he do?"
The Yaksha repeated the procedure with Kuko. Both Naruto and Hinata tensed up watching the process. The death of the two kitsune had them on edge.
“So, lady fox, a man sits on top of a hundred-foot pole. How can he go farther up?"
Kuko sighed in relief. She could easily figure out the answer someone in this temple would be looking for. "He should reach for enlightenment. Then he can stand up into all four corners of the sky at once.”
“That will suffice. Join the other female.” The Yaksha went on to question the two remaining mikkyo. Both failed. As such, both ceased to exist.
“Ahhh. But one more remains. The noisy one.” The Yaksha walked over to Naruto. “Are you at peace, fox bearer?”
“Not really,” Naruto answered. “I need to take a wicked piss.” That answer had just about everyone and everything in the room gasping in disbelief.
By contrast, Virudhaka chuckled.
“THE RASH ONE REMINDS ME OF A CERTAIN YAKSHA WHEN HE CAME HERE AS A YOUTH. I SOMETIMES QUESTION THE WISDOM OF HAVING LET THAT ONE LIVE.”
The Yaksha facing Naruto closed his eyes and sighed, a sound that was almost human, but very strange just the same.
“What is the greatest wonder of life?’
“Ha! I know that one. No one is going to make Uzumaki Naruto disappear. The answer is easy. That every man must one day die, yet every man lives as if they were immortal.” He looked over at his friends. “Hey! Hinata! You’re not the only one who can answer riddles.”
“You are correct,” the Yaksha said.
“Alright! The score is good guys three, bad guys zero. It would have been easier if everyone just listened to us from the beginning!” Naruto struck a nice guy pose.
“HOLD!” The Heavenly king said, his voice causing one of the remaining vases to shatter.
“THAT ANSWER CAME TOO SWIFTLY FOR A QUESTION OF SUCH WEIGHT.” He turned his look on the elder Yaksha.
“THE QUESTION SOUNDS FAMILIAR TO ME. ” The great being scratched his head, underneath the edges of his helmet.
“Yes,” the Yaksha said. “Long ago, not too many centuries after I first began my work in this temple, I posed the same question to a son of Pandu. You may have heard the tale, one where a deer had been butting about, became entangled with Brahmana’s two fire sticks and a churning stick, then ran off. Sent to retrieve it, the man and his brothers happened upon a lake I had chosen as my own.” He shrugged. He had been demonstrative in his youth. “I told them not to drink, but they did. All except the one, who won their lives back by answering the riddle.”
“DID YOU AGRANDIZE YOURSELF BY RECORDING THE STORY IN THE WORDS OF MAN? THAT WOULD ALLOW OTHERS TO MERELY READ TO KNOW THE RIDDLE’S ANSWER, WITHOUT BEING FORCED TO SEARCH THEIR HEARTS. ”
“I did, Lord.” The Yaksha bowed. “In a work called The Mahabharata.” That book was one of the two most important factors that created the ‘Hindu’ culture of India, along with a human-penned epic called the Ramayana.
“I understand.” The cowled demigod turned to Naruto. “The question is invalid, and therefore the answer is not to your credit.”
“WHAT?” Naruto clenched his fists and scowled. “That blows! I never read that Maha…… Mabrata…… whatever.”
The Yaksha looked into Naruto’s eyes. “But you still knew the answer before hand, did you not?”
“Uhhh…… yeh…… can’t help it if I’m a learned guy….” Naruto looked away from the cowled creature, making certain not to glance in Kuko’s direction.
“Late one night a blind man was about to go home after visiting a friend. ‘Please,’ he said to his friend, ‘May I take your lantern with me?’ The friend asked ‘Why carry a lantern?’ and said ‘You won't see any better with it’.” The Yaksha put his hand on Naruto’s head. “Explain.”
“Huh?” Naruto rubbed his nose, then furrowed his brow. “Is that supposed to be the riddle?”
“Yes,” the Yaksha answered. “It comes to me, that your life is not the only one at stake here. If you wish, you may seek the answer with the Nine-Tailed Fox within you.”
“Thanks,” Naruto said, sarcastically. Just the same, he relaxed his mind, and turned inward. When he returned to his usual state, he shook his head.
“Do you have an answer?” The Yaksha asked.
“I’m still thinking. I won’t use that bastard fox’s.” Naruto kicked at a piece of broken plate on the floor.
“WHAT ANSWER WAS THAT? YOU HAVED PIQUED MY CURIOSITY.”
“Uhhh…… your Majesty….. Kyuubi’s answer was ‘Bite that Fat Yaksha in the ass, or piss on his feet’. I did not think that the reply was correct.”
The Deva King nodded subtly. The skin at the corner of his eyes wrinkled ever so slightly.
“The demon does not like you, does he?” The Yaksha asked. “That is irrelevant, however. You must provide me with your answer.”
“Huh? Oh yeh. How could I forget about that?” A number of Nagas looked at one another, then shrugged. “Let me see. Lanterns make light. They help you see. And…” he smiled, remembering simple lessons he was taught before becoming a genin. There was a reason that ninjas do not make campfires during a mission. “They can help you be seen!”
“Correct. So his friend gave the blind man the lantern, which was made of paper on bamboo strips, with a candle inside. Off went the blind man with the lantern, and before he had gone more than a few yards, Crack! Someone walked right into him. The blind man was very angry. "Why don't you look out?" he stormed. ‘Why don't you see this lantern?’ Explain.”
“OK. The other jerk could have been blind too, I guess. But that would be too easy. And how many times do two blind guys run into each other on the street. Shit!” He twitched. “Sorry!” He put both hands behind his head and closed his eyes. “Hmmmm….”
“Do you have an answer?” The Yaksha asked.
“Sure!” Naruto replied. “But I’m still looking for the right one.” That had the other Yaksha mumbling amongst themselves.
“You have until the sand runs out,” the elder Yaksha pulled a plug out of the bottom of his staff. It served as the equivalent of an hourglass. Minute grains of diamond, emerald, and ruby began forming a cone-shaped pile on the floor.
“Great. I bet that’s a lot of fun at parties!” Naruto clenched his teeth. Then he smiled. “The old son of a bitch probably forgot to light the candle!”
“Yes,” the Yaksha said, looking up at Virudhaka.
The Great Guardian nodded his head. He waved his sword towards the nearest set of stone doors. The pretas and other monsters began filing out. A different troop of ogres began bringing new tables into the room while ghost-like pisacas materialized and started removing refuse.
“Come,” the eldest Yaksha said. “It is time to determine your fate.”
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