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Buffy the Youkai Slayer

By Sharibet, sharibet@netscape.net

Chapter 8: Testoserone Poisoning



A great combination of InuYasha and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the two demonic shows we thought couldn't mix. (Tim Seltzer, seltzer@seltzerbooks.com)


Disclaimer: Don't own the shows, don't plan on trying to, none use this fic without permission.

Author's Notes: This is an edited and corrected version of the story originally posted to Fanfiction.net January - March, 2004. The content is still essentially the same as the first version, but I fixed some consistency glitches, typos, and Japanese usage errors.

This story takes place after the second Inuyasha film, "Castle Beyond the Looking Glass," (after Episode 74 in the series), and after the Buffy series finale. Contains spoilers for events that happen in all seasons of Buffy, through the beginning of the final season of Angel, Inuyasha episodes 1-74, and the second Inuyasha film.


Musashi's Domain, late 16th-century Japan

The silence that followed Inuyasha's abrupt departure lasted an uncomfortably long time. The water in the kettle began to boil, and without speaking, Kaede brewed a pot of green tea and served it to her remaining guests.

"Well? What should I do?" Buffy demanded, finally, in that very direct American way of hers. She crossed her arms and looked around the room. "Do you want me to leave, and leave you guys to try and find the Portal Key on your own?"

Kagome saw Miroku and Sango trade looks, but no one answered immediately.

"Look," continued Buffy, addressing all of them, but looking directly at Kagome. "I'm really sorry that my presence here seems to be causing a problem. I only want to help you guys out!"

Kagome remembered the look of betrayal in Inuyasha's eyes when she had spoken up to take Buffy's side, and something hurt inside her chest.

But it was Miroku who spoke.

"Please try to understand, Buffy-sama," he said. "Inuyasha is a hanyou...neither fully human nor completely demon. And in this time and place, hanyou are treated badly. Humans fear them, and demons despise them. Thanks to Kagome-sama's generous heart, Inuyasha is learning how to be a man...and a friend...but trust does not come easily to him. Neither does acceptance."

"Should I go after him? Do you think he'd listen to me?" Buffy's shoulders slumped a little. "I mean, I of all people should know how important friends are. Especially when you live in a place with demons and stuff. He shouldn't have to worry that I'm gonna make you guys hate him, or something."

"No, I'm the one who should go," Kagome said, thinking I'm not sure what I did to make him think I was abandoning him, but I can't bear the thought of losing him.

"Do you think you can convince Inuyasha to change his mind?" Kaede asked, sipping from her tea.

"I don't know," admitted Kagome, staring down at the steaming cup in her own hands. "But I have to at least try. Maybe he doesn't mean it."

"You know how he is," Sango said, encouragingly. "He doesn't like to show that he needs anyone. Perhaps, if you convince him that we need him...?"

"We do need him." Miroku sighed. "Without the power of the red Tetsusaiga, we won't be able to breach the barrier around Naraku's castle."

"And he'll probably feel better if you at least ask him to reconsider," Buffy added. "Tell him that, if it comes down to him or me, I'll go home."

"I'll do my best," Kagome said, but she sounded dispirited, even to herself.

She rose from her seat next to the glowing hearth, dug in her backpack for a flashlight, then went outside.

It had cooled off considerably since sunset, and she was glad of her long-sleeved pullover, though her miniskirt exposed her legs to the autumn chill. Maybe she'd put on some pants tomorrow, though doing so meant admitting that winter was on the way. And she hated winter--the damp, gray cold days, the long hours of darkness, and worst of all, snow.

Should she take her bike and look for Inuyasha? She stopped for a moment to look at where it leaned against one wall of Kaede's cottage, Buffy's shiny blue bicycle parked next to it.

No, she decided. If her guess was right, he hadn't gone far. There was a tree near the Bone-eater's Well that he favored for thinking or sulking. She would look there first.

Even with a flashlight, the woods were dark. Everything looked different at night, and she was glad of the faint path worn between the village and the clearing. It kept her from getting lost.

When she reached the Bone-eater's Well, she continued on to the other side of the clearing. Sure enough, there was a dark shape sitting on the lowest limb of his favorite tree, his back to the trunk, his legs dangling down on either side of the thick branch.

She switched off the flashlight, and looked up at his silhouette. His pale hair glowed in the moonlight that filtered through the branches.

"Inuyasha?" she said, though she knew that his heightened senses had informed him of her arrival long before she came into view.

"What do you want?" He didn't look at her.

"Inuyasha, please come back."

"Did Buffy ask you to talk to me?" His voice had an unpleasant edge to it.

"No," she said. "We need you, Inuyasha. I--" she stopped, afraid of revealing too much. "Only Tetsusaiga has any chance of breaking Naraku's barriers."

"So, you remembered that I'm useful to you, after all." Under his bitterness, she detected sadness.

Did he really think that they valued him only for his usefulness? "You know that's not the only reason."

"Do I? And what about your new friend Buffy? Isn't she more useful than I am? At least she looks human." He leaned his head back against the trunk of the tree, letting the shadows hide his dog-ears.

Kagome felt as if she were treading water in a bottomless black lake. Oh, Inuyasha, why won't you believe me when I tell you that I like everything about you? Even the things that aren't human?

"Buffy regrets the difficulty she's caused," she said, seizing the opening he had given her. "In fact, she's even offered to go home if it means the difference between your presence and your absence."

"Keh. Buffy again." In the moonlight, she saw him raise his chin. With his hands tucked into his sleeves, he looked like a statue tucked into the fork of the tree. A very angry statue.

But she knew him well enough by now to guess that the stonier his exterior, the more turmoil he felt inside. All she could do was tell him the truth, and hope that it would be enough to sway his stubborn heart.

"I hope you'll change your mind, and come with us, Inuyasha." She stood on tiptoes, stretched out her arm, and closed her hand around the only part of him that she could reach--his bare, callused foot. "But even if you don't, I'll still be your friend. And nothing--not even new friends--will ever change that."

She waited a long moment, but he didn't respond--or move. He was so still that she wondered if he was even breathing.

She gave his foot an encouraging squeeze, then let go and stepped back. "I'll see you in the morning, then?"

"Maybe," he mumbled.

Discouraged, she turned on her flashlight and began to walk back to Kaede's cottage.

Her heart soared when, after a moment, she heard him dropping to the ground behind her, then the soft swish of his heavy garments as he approached her.

She stopped walking, but, afraid that he'd retreat again, she didn't turn around right away.

"Hey, Kagome."

"Yes?" The edge of her flashlight beam touched his cheek, and haloed his hair.

"You shouldn't be walking around in the woods alone at night," he said, gruffly.

In spite of herself, she smiled. "But I'm not alone, Inuyasha. You're with me."

"Come on," he said, striding past her. "I'll take you back to old lady Kaede's hut."


Buffy thought that Kagome didn't looked nearly as depressed when she returned from her talk with Inuyasha, but she wasn't able to offer much encouraging news, either. The most she would say was that Inuyasha needed time to think.

Then she yawned widely, followed a moment later by Sango.

Taking the hint, Kaede borrowed futon mattresses and quilts from the other villagers, and within a short time, every inch of the floor inside her one-room cottage was covered in bedding.

A simple cloth screen separated Miroku's bed from the rest, though Sango's glare in his direction told Buffy that he was probably peeking at them as Buffy and Kagome changed into pajamas and Sango donned her sleeping robe.

Inuyasha still hadn't rejoined them, though the sound of creaking beams betrayed that he was sitting guard on the roof.

The futon was hard and a little lumpy, but it was clean and it was better than sleeping on the bare floorboards.

Buffy was tired from another long day, but once the oil-lamps had been extinguished, plunging the inside of the cottage into deep darkness, she lay awake, thinking, as the others settled down.

It wasn't long before she heard the first gentle snores coming from Kagome's futon. Probably Shippou--Buffy remembered the tiny fox-demon curling up next to Kagome before the lights went out.

Poor Kagome! Inuyasha was behaving like a real jerk, but if Buffy wanted to be honest with herself, then she had to admit that she was partly at fault. Somehow, she had struck out in a major way with the dog-boy, and sent her mission off the rails like an out-of-control rollercoaster.

She had to find a way to salvage the situation. Had she broken some major cultural taboo? Or maybe he was just suffering from Male Testosterone Poisoning...?

Did demons even have testosterone? Well, he was half-human. And if the way he looked at Kagome when he thought no one was paying attention was any indicator, he definitely had plenty of boy-hormones.

Testosterone...demons...demon testosterone...totally a scary thought.

Then, suddenly, a possible solution came to her. But could it really work?

Well, it can't make things worse than they are now, she thought, just before she fell asleep at last.


In the morning, Kaede offered them rice, tea, vegetable soup, and grilled fish. It wasn't what Buffy thought of as "breakfast food"--Captain Crunch and coffee were more her style--but it tasted good, and most importantly, someone else had cooked it for her.

In the two years since her Mom's death, Buffy had grown to appreciate any time she didn't have to cook.

After breakfast, they all wandered outside.

It was sunny and warm, and Buffy was able to take a good look around. What a difference 500 years made! Instead of modern Tokyo's dense maze of narrow streets and clustered, multi-story buildings, the village consisted of ten or twelve wooden cottages, surrounded by lots of fields and even more trees.

Armed with a broom, Kaede headed up to the shrine. Kagome and Shippo filled a shallow wooden bucket and washed the breakfast bowls and platters, while Sango picked up the biggest boomerang Buffy had ever seen--it was actually taller than the petite youkai slayer--and started doing what looked like limbering exercises with it.

Buffy was dying to ask Sango how she fought demons using a giant boomerang, but first, she had to find Miroku and talk with him in private.

Not only was he the only other male in the vicinity, but, based on his words last night, she thought he might be able to offer her good feedback...as long as she stayed out of groping range.

She found him sitting cross-legged under a tree some distance away. It looked like he was meditating, so she slowed her steps as she drew near, not wanting to disturb him.

But he opened his eyes and gave her one of his cute smiles.

"I hope I'm not interrupting, houshi-sama," Buffy said, hesitantly.

"Not at all." He smiled, and moved aside his staff with a musical jangle, motioning her to sit. "I was simply contemplating my good fortune in avoiding dishwashing duty."

Buffy sank down cautiously, leaving a healthy distance between them. She glanced at his right hand, securely wrapped in dark fabric and wound around with rosary beads. Was he injured? Or was there something else going on? Maybe the groping wasn't really his fault. Maybe he has evil hand issues...

"Is there something you wanted to ask me?" he asked, distracting her from her speculations.

"Um, yeah." Buffy explained her plan quickly. It sounded a lot lamer in the daylight than it had in the dark.

She finished talking, then, propping her chin in her hand, she waited to hear what Miroku had to say.

"Hmmmmm." His brow creased.

At least he was taking her seriously. In fact, he seemed to be thinking it over very thoroughly.

Then, gradually, he began smiling. His grin grew broader and broader, until finally, his big, dark eyes sparking with mischief, he exclaimed, "This may work, Buffy-sama! I only worry whether you are putting yourself in danger?"

Buffy was wondering the same thing. The potential for either--or both--of them to get seriously hurt was pretty high.

She shrugged. "I can't think of any other way to resolve this. Can you?"

"Given that it's Inuyasha that you're dealing with? Eh, no," Miroku admitted. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Buffy said. She rose, dusting off her jeans. "Look, I'd appreciate you keeping this a secret for now. Inuyasha and I need to work this out in private. There's no telling how he'd react if, say, Kagome was there and he felt like he had to, um--"

"Save face?"

"Yeah. That." Buffy turned to go. "So, just between you and me, okay?"

Miroku was the picture of Buddhist sincerity as he raised his hand in farewell. "Of course."


Bolstered by Miroku's approval, Buffy got directions from Kagome, and marched into the woods to find Inuyasha.

Miroku managed to restrain himself until she was safely out of sight. Then, abandoning priestly dignity, he ran to Kaede's hut.

"You'll never believe what Buffy-sama wants to do!" he said, when his friends were gathered around him.

"I think we should go and see," Sango said, when Miroku had finished revealing the details.

"Spy on them? Isn't that exactly what Buffy didn't want us to do?" Kagome asked, sharply.

"'Spying' is such an ugly word for it," Miroku said, piously. "Think of it this way--before meeting Naraku in battle, would it not be the most sensible course to see how tough Buffy-sama really is?"


"Okay, dog-boy," Buffy said, after her initial attempts to talk things out with Inuyasha failed. "I've tried being nice. Now, I wanna get down to business."

She had tried apologizing. She had tried flattery. She'd even tried appealing to his better nature, in hopes he actually had one.

Now, she just wanted to kick his ass.

She put her hands on her hips and glared up at him. Infuriatingly, he was draped full-length over a thick branch halfway up a tree, and looked half-asleep.

He opened one golden eye and looked down at her contemptuously. "What 'business?' Shouldn't you be off somewhere looking for Naraku rather than bothering me?"

"I was thinking of beating some sense through your thick skull, first," she said. "Would a duel make you feel better about coming along? Just you and me?"

"A duel? What stupid things are you saying now?" Suddenly, he was standing in front of her. And smiling. Unpleasantly.

Finally, something interesting enough to get him out of that damned tree, thought Buffy.

"Here's the deal. We fight, one-on-one, two falls out of three. Winner gets to give the orders. Loser joins the expedition like a good dog-boy," she said. "Well? You man enough to take me on? Without using your sword...or your claws?"

"Keh!" Inuyasha sneered. He cracked his knuckles, and the sunlight gleamed on the razor-sharp talons tipping each of his fingers. "I'd be ashamed to use these on a skinny little girl!"

"And you promise you'll drop the prima-donna act and play nice with all of us when you lose? And you'll follow my orders?"

"Who said anything about losing? I'd be more worried about you following my orders if I were you, slayer!"

He's actually agreeing to the duel? "I'm not saying you can't have an opinion," Buffy continued. "I'm just saying that you don't get to argue with direct orders."

"Keh. How arrogant." He gave a short laugh. "Very well. Loser follows orders. And don't expect me to go easy on you, bitch!" He showed his pointed teeth in an expression that was more snarl than smile.

"I'd be disappointed if you did." Buffy fell into the relaxed stance of preparing for battle: weight balanced on the balls of her feet, shoulders relaxed. "I'm a Slayer--and it's about time you found out what that means, dog-boy."


Buffy the Youkai Slayer by Sharibet
This fanfic is complete.
 


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