Disclamer: I own none of the Inuyasha characters. They
belong to their respected (and overly rich) creators and owners.
If I owned them then I'd make a movie instead of a fanfic.
Chapter 1: Don't Knock It If You Haven't
Tried It
"What knockers!!"Dr. Frankenstein
(That's Frankonshteen! SHTEEEEN!!), Young Dr. Frienchestein
A single man stood in shock in a forested
area. Now, there were many reasons for this man to be shocked:
he had killed multiple enemies with just a sword, they were all
wimps in spite of the hype, and he has yet to break a sweat. The
detail that shocked him was an arrow that had embedded itself
close to his heart. The leather armor underneath his shirt had
saved him from immediate death, but the pain was excruciating.
The man swung his sword again, missing the new
guy who was charging him. He then blocked an attempt to smash
his face with a shield, and moments later impaled his enemy in
the gut with his sword.
Another came and he dodged a blow that could
have removed his head. Using his sword, he deflected his enemy's
sword so it sliced air rather than neck, then bashed him
in the face with the hilt, removing several teeth and rendering
him unconscious.
Turning back to the on-coming horde, he
received an arrow to the stomach. He went down to his knees,
with his back to the enemy. He looked like he was the verge of
surrender. But then he saw and remembered who he was protecting
from these barbarians. With renewed vigor he sliced while
turning, cutting in two what had already been a corpse. He might
have apologized to the deceased for this accidental overkill,
but there was no time for such niceties. He blocked yet another
sword, then cut the legs out from under the latest attacker. He
then stabbed this new dead guy, for good measure -- no need to
take chances..
A masculine voice noted, "That's it? I could
do that much with one hand against wimps like those!!"
The embattled fighter didn't seem to hear
those words. He just sliced down another foe, and another, and
caught a third arrow in his chest. Perhaps he didn't care to
respond to criticism while in the midst of a life-or-death
struggle.
Then a feminine voice sounded, "Well what did
you expect from the 'Fellowship of the Ring', master swordsmen?"
He didn't respond to that either... Of course
not, he was in the movie and they were just watching it, in the
comfort of their living room, between slurping sodas and
munching popcorn. Obviously, they must know more about fighting
than he did. They had certainly seen far more battles than he
had or ever will.
"Come on. Hit with three arrows and still not
only alive, but awake and in pain. He should have passed out,
damn it!!" The man, if he could be called that, looked somewhere
between fifteen and seventeen years old. Wearing a tight black
tee-shirt that showed off the muscles which he probably worked
hard to build, and blue jeans, he was sitting on the floor
crosslegged.
"Well Zack, maybe it's just how weapons were
back then, it isn't that cheezy at... Okay, did that guy just
block a thrown knife with a sword?" The girl, wearing a red
shirt and blue jeans, was about the same age as the boy. She had
a girl-next-door air to her. She seemed mildly annoyed. If it
weren't for his comments, she would have loved this flick. But
thanks to him she was having second thoughts about it.
"My point exactly Kyone. I'd say in real life,
anyone from today would be able to kick the ass of anyone from
back in the old sword days. The past was full of idiots, and the
present is full of-"
"-it," she helped him to his feet and escorted
him to the door.
"Well..."
"Whatever, Zack. I guess I'd beter get that
school uniform to finalize my transfer here." Zack quirked an
eyebrow at that.
"Don't Japanese schools give girls short
skir..." Before Zack could finish his statement, the door
slammed into his elbow.
"AHHHH!!!" Zack yelled, then the image of the
warrior enduring three deadly arrows silently flashed before his
eyes and he pressed a hand over his mouth to stifle his
involuntary pain noises.
A fifteen-year-old, black-haired girl in a
Japanese school-girl uniform was running. In hot pursuit appeard
a silver-haired seventeen-year-old boy in red feudal Japanese
clothes.
There were several things wrong with this
picture. First, the girl had left the school, but she was still
wearing a uniform months later. Second, the girl was a few
hundred years away from home. The real kicker was that the boy
had cat-like ears on his head. (But you shouldn't say that to
his face if you wanted to keep your face.)
The girl looked over her shoulder, not in fear
but in annoyance, and said, "I need to go home, Inuyasha. I
haven't been there for two months. My Mom knows what's up, but
my school has probably kicked me out, and for all I know the
police are looking for me."
The afforementioned 'boy', Inuyasha, would not
relent. "Damn it, Kagome, we have shards to hunt here. The
longer we wait, the more shades Naraku will make. So get back
here and detect shards, bitch."
Kagome was peeved at being called a bitch, but
was used to Inuyasha's abrupt turns of speech. "Well, I need to
go to school. Besides, we have no idea where to look for shards.
We just fought and killed another new shade, and we're out of
ramen."
Now, ramen is a kind of flavored noodle meal
put in a plastic cup. To most people being told you are out of
that is like being told you are out of Cheerios. To Inuyasha,
hearing those words was like being told you have cancer of the
penis. He slowed down on his chase. Unable to think of a good
reason why she shouldn't go back to her home in the future to
fetch more ramen, he shouted, "WE'RE OUT!? HOW DID WE RUN OUT? I
HAVEN'T HAD ANY FOR THREE DAYS!! THREE RAMENLESS DAYS AND NOW
YOU TELL ME 'WE'RE OUT'?!?"
"Yes. Now sit..."
Upon hearing those words, Inuyasha dropped
face first on the ground. Some may wonder what word had that
effect on him, and why it would make him passionately kiss dirt.
The key word is 'sit'. Whenever Kagome says that word the
teeth-and-beads necklace he wears smashes him violently to the
ground, with the impact of a motorcycle crash.
"...down and think about someone other than
yourself, for ONCE!!" Apparently not even noticing that she had
accidentally used the word 'sit', and that he was taking a dirt
nap, she jumped through a dry well nearby and was transported a
few hundred years into the future...to the twenty-first century.
Century of cars, guns, nukes, porno sites, and tests.
to be continued
Me: I'd say that's a better note to start on
then my first fic attempt. I'll try my best to purge the evil
from the site. For those who read the earlier one...I'M SORRY!!
LET THIS UNWORTHY ONE LIVE!!! PEACE IN OUR TIME! Ehhhh, well
anyway hope you got some chuckles out of it.
